On the way to work this morning i was not paying attention and drove into the back of a car that was sat at some traffic lights.

The driver got out and he was a dwarf.

He said, "I'm not happy."
...
I replied, "Well, which f---ing one are you then?"

On the way to work this morning i was not paying attention and drove into the back of a car that was sat at some traffic lights.

This blond got out and shouted " Ram me up the arris why don't you? "
And that, your honour . . .

sorry hobbit gotta nick that

Why not mate, I did . . .