things to do/remember when driving your car on the motorway............

indicators
These are useful for a number of reasons.  Firstly, when no-one is behind you for about a mile you must indicate your intention to change lane  ( this must be done in such a way that only one flash of the indicator is given and must be when your car is already half way between lanes.

secondly, as everyone should ALREADY know, an indication given means that you have right of way and all other motorway users MUST alter their driving to accomodate you.  This can best be employed by giving the required signal ( see above) then pulling into the outside lane regardless of approaching traffic and size of gap etc.

speed
Vital that this is got right.  Youmust select a speed at which you can comfortably drive whilst answering the phone/texting some sort/fiddling with the radio/arsing about with your make up/checking the contents of your cd wallet etc.

'Lane' Speed
It is essential that you keep to your own predecided speed for lane changing.  If you need to overtake someone doing sixty then this is best done at sixty-one.  Simply give the apropriate signal ( see above) whilst changing into your offside lane.  If the traffic in that lane are doing eighty five it doesnt matter - YOU MUST maintain you sixty one mph regardless of the size of the queue that builds behind you and always maintain concentration by ignoring the flashing lights in your mirror or the deafening cacophony of bleeping horns that may arise.

Closing
An advanced technique but one which should still be practised and perfected by all motorway car drivers if you are to avoid the derision of your more experienced mates.
When closing on slower moving vehicles in your lane you MUST remember to avoid the inclination to signal correctly - wait for an appropriate gap - adjust your speed - pull out with good indication and with observation - - these are the signs of a bad driver.  You must, of course, wait until you are only a few feet from the slow moving vehicle, so close in fact that you can see the drivers dandruff, then simply pull out into the next lane - dont look in your mirrors or wait for a gap as that will slow the manouvre and youre already doing thirty eight on the motorway - give one single flash of your indicator ( doesnt matter which one) AS you cross lane markings - proceed in the off side lane to the one you were in at EXACTLY one mph faster than the vehicle you are overtaking.  As a side note this is a good time to check that your brake lights work by pressing the brake pedal but make sure this is only done at a time when no obvious reason for braking exisists or the following vehicles will not be caught out.)


ETC ETC...............

Ha-was it a silver BMW perchance?
Ask BD what I does with myopic BMW drivers (well it made BD chuckle)

And this just about says it all for motorway driving.
After my short sphincter tightening hop up and down the m62 today making it home in one piece. I almost gets wiped out by a guy cutting the corner on the road where i live. jeez!!!  

I seem to have the same problems with volkswagon passat drivers THE BASTARDS, and can often be heard to scream "please put your phone down sir" or words to that effect. I think its' something to do with a unique in built device i have called an ATTRACT A PRAT. Super device, never lets me down, cos on every journey i take, i always find one !!! Got to get me one of those FP1 exhaust systems............revenge shall be mine

Oh bugger, fancy missing the joys of motorway driving this weekend and having to put up with quiet A and B rds basking in sunshine  . My trip back up from Leeds must have been the exception as nay bother like youv'e been having. (Touch wood)
Only problem today was having to trek home as every other biker was trekking out. Never mind 600 mile in a week will have to do. Hopes you all had a good un at the CWBB. Cheers MAlly

Only the ride up the road from the CWBB. A lorry decided to pull into my lane while I was beside him.  :sus: The cut up DP nicely as well.  :sus:

Left DP at Newcastle and continued up the road. Some plonker in a Passat estate decides to overtake me and just misses the rear end by inches, then pulled in sharpish as well.

He did look kind of sheepish, when I met him at the petrol station further up the road.  :eyebrow:

Oi! I drive a passat... an estate at that  :swivel:

No you dont you lying b**tard-you told us you now have a van!